Heavy Flack Over Salt Lake City

A few days ago I received an announcement from a company I do business with periodically telling me in the most breathless manner possible that it had brought a new partner on board. This announcement has every marketing buzzword imaginable (Although I now note that it's missing "powerful." I guess it needs a rewrite a la Steve Goodman's addition to his "You Never Even Called Me By My Name" after David Allan Coe critiqued it.) It even calls the new guy a marketing "evangelist" (Folks, understand this: No one wants salesmen to preach at them. And if I were into evangelical religion, I'd be a bit bent out of shape that my beliefs were being cheapened like that.).

The purpose of an announcement is to let people know something. Breathless sales pitches only catch the attention of folks with perverse senses of humor, like me. They certainly won't catch the attention of any news outlet you want to pass the story along, except maybe to get pinned up on a business editor's wall as a laugh. If you want a news outlet to run your story, learn the outlet's style and match it. And give it a story, not a hyperventilated marketing presentation.